im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
