Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
