i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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