So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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