I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You pole danced in your parka.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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