Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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