Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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