I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
