barbara walters just said penis...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
