Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
