And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
