cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize