Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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