chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
