nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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