Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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