I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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