god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
