I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
