My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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