halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize