I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
