She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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