Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
is it fun? or sober?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
