Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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