just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize