i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
