Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
