I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
