I cockslap morals
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
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