If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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