I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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