so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
