Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?