Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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