OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.