Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity