Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
