god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
