i would punch a child for taco bell
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
