just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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