Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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