You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
