That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
