Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
