I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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