But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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