when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
