you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize