i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
