this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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