I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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