I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
