So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
