Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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