If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
