I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
