Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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