no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
