'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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