I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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