then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
