I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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